My KEEPING IT REAL Resume

!!WILL PERFORM MENIAL TASKS FOR A DECENT WAGE!!

Name: The Fecht
Hometown: P-ton
Education: MIT is the Georgia Tech of the North minus good football/basketball teams, Majored in Overthinking, Minored in Party Dynamics

Job Experience:
-Can keep a group of 10 six year olds alive for at least eight weeks
-Can Macgyver a complex machine out of just about anything
-Can perform highly repetitive tasks that require minimal brain activity
-Cannooot schpell nethink correkly

Skillz:
-Can distinguish between Coors, Miller Lite, Bud Lite, Natty, and Kieth Stone
-Indecisive, especially among indecisive groups
-Ability to stay awake at all hours of the night
-Can brew beer in tight spaces
-Procrastination has yet to fail me
-Music (Noise) production on a computadora
-I know more about computer programming than my job will ever require
-Seeexxxyyynneeesssss

!HIRE ME! GIVE ME MONEY!!!

Never Stop Learning

This book sounds like fun. I really need to make a reading list, so many books, so little time. Never stop learning.

"How heavy is that cloud? Why can you see farther in rain than in fog? Why are the droplets on that spider web spaced apart so evenly? If you have ever asked questions like these while outdoors, and wondered how you might figure out the answers, this is a book for you. An entertaining and informative collection of fascinating puzzles from the natural world around us, A Mathematical Nature Walk will delight anyone who loves nature or math or both."

Imma just leave this here...

Ke$ha meets Sophistication

Walking Table

I kind of really like furniture, but not the normal kind. Of course, I like all the collapsible stuff, because, well, I'm a little bit obsessed with things that collapse, except buildings that do so, especially if I'm in it. I digress. This is a pretty cool table that can walk on four legs when you push it. Wheels? Nah, that's to simple.

Sophistication Luxury Tap Water

Everybody wishes they invested in bottled water, but when it first came out, the question on everybody's mind was, "Who on earth would buy bottled water? How silly." Now it pervades our society and even the Coca-Cola Company has its own bottled water brand (Dasani, in case you didn't know). The bottled water industry is extremely wasteful, producing tons and tons of plastic that ends up in a lot of land fills. There is also a large amount of fuel wasted by transporting water around in trucks (water is very heavy, so heavy in fact, if you were to fill an entire tractor trailer car with it, the suspension wouldn't be able to handle it).

Sophistication Luxury Tap Water sets its satirical cross hairs on the bottled water industry by branding good ol' tap water and adds a filter just in case there's anything nasty in your local tap, though that's unlikely because tap water is more regulated than the bottled kind. Visit www.luxurytapwater.com for more info.

Flying Car

A flying car? Huh? Nope, it's just a balloon, but it looks super realistic. And it's full scale. I just wish I knew how they made it look so real.