Caution: Lots Of Website Traffic

Caution: If Inception made your head hurt, this post may do the same.

Online marketing is pretty tough. There's essentially infinite competition if you want YouTube views on your video or for a picture you post to one of the many image hosting sites. Same goes for articles. Why would you read this if there was something more entertaining or informative, even if it's not exactly related?

So, through my research I've found the best way to get more traffic is to write about getting more traffic. It's so meta. Like real world Inception level meta. It seems pretty obvious to me that people who are writing about helping others get more traffic are really looking for more traffic for themselves, but they always try to veil that fact. I, however, like to keep it real, so, yes, I hope this article gets me more traffic. I also hope that this newly increased traffic helps promote my Arm Pillo which is kind of a silly product, but it's actually very useful. So that's it. To summarize:

1. Write about getting more traffic to get more traffic
2. Keep it real
3. Arm Pillo, Arm Pillo, Arm Pillo, Arm Pillo.

New Years Resolutions

1. Floss everyday- I got some cavities in between my teeth
2. Network with people better - Everyone is interesting
3. Fart around less (both literally and figuratively a.k.a. less internet)
4. Dress nicer
5. Shave everyday


2012 Stop playin'. No games. Get serious. Have fun.

My Unfounded Theories 3: Distant Aliens Think We Move Slowly Due To Special Relativity

Hear me out. It all depends on your frame of reference. Light is the fastest thing in every reference frame, but in certain reference frames we will be moving near the speed of light. So, the Earth is moving around the sun at 30,000 meters per second, and around the Milky Way at around 250,000 meters per second an around the Local Group of galaxies at 300,000 meters per second. These speeds are a couple of orders of magnitude lower than the speed of light (300,000,000 meters per second), but as you take your reference frame as being deeper and deeper into space, the faster we a relatively moving.

So what kind of implications does this have? Well, in inertial reference frames, time dilation is an observed effect that causes time in a fast moving object to slow down. So, if there was another planet very far away and it was moving very fast, it would appear to us that clock on that planet would tick very slowly. If there was life on that planet, it would appear that life would grow very slowly. The same would be true of us from their perspective. This is pretty cool, because if aliens tried to sneak up on us, they might think we were sloths, but when they get here they would see that we move quickly. Unless they know about relativity and took it into account. Here's to hoping Einstein was the smartest person/thing ever.