Top Ten Ways To Not Get Your Blog Not Noticed, Not

I see a lot of sites that have lists of how to get your blog noticed, but not many lists for those of us who don't ever want to make any money or have anyone read what we have to say. Strange, maybe I need to look harder.

1. Don't write anything because if you do, then someone might find your blog.
2. Don't tell any of your friends or colleagues about it because if they find you interesting, they might find your blog interesting.
3. Don't try to exchange links with other bloggers because that might increase traffic to your site.
4. Do write nonsensical and grammatically dreadful blog entries that might generate high paying ads that no one will ever click on.
5. Do not update regularly as that may cause people to check your blog frequently.
6. Do not hold a contest of any sort.
7. Do not pass go.
8. Do not collect $200.
9. Do have a top ten list with only nine entries, but don't admit to it.
10. Do add filler entries to any and all lists to make them seem more impressive, even if the ideas are common sense, and especially if they don't make sense.